


Being A Kid Is Hard

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Adolescent Sexuality, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Coming Out, Depression, Humanstuck, M/M, Outing, Sadstuck, Sexual Identity, Sollux loves Eridan but he isn't gay and is dating Feferi, There are a lot of tags... Im sorry, Triggers, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, albino!Karkat, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-26
Updated: 2012-10-01
Packaged: 2017-11-12 22:10:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/496176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At Skaia Senior High School, things are pretty stereotypical. Sollux feels as if he is the only one who doesn't fit in the little bubble that is his town. He, to put it bluntly, feels like he is the only kid in the whole school that is in the closet. Or gay. Everybody around him likes the opposite sex. He also likes one of his friends, Eridan Ampora, who is currently in a steady relationship with Feferi Piexes.</p><p>Ref of School: http://dameofrage.tumblr.com/post/31953013528</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

            “I’ll be there in ten minutes, chill your shit.” I half yell into the phone wedged between my face and shoulder as I pull on a pair of jeans.

          “I’ve been sitting here, _alone may I add,_ in this sweaty cafeteria for five minutes already. I can practically feel the layers of bacteria forming on my skin, and they will begin to fester into a new infection which-“

            “Shut up, KK.” I cut him off as I buckle my belt, taking the phone in my hand once I finally get it on. “Gamzee should be showing up any minute, he texted me literally 30 seconds before you called.”

            “If I hadn’t called, you wouldn’t be getting ready right now. It’s the first fucking day of school and you were going to sleep through it like the dumb fuck you are. I bet you didn’t go to bed until four in the fucking morning.”

            “You better have that money ready for me, because I went to bed at three.”

            “Fuck no, dumbdumb, I ain’t giving you shit. Actually, I _will_ be giving you shit, for _making me wait here alone you fucker_.”

            I tap the speaker button on the screen, making an audible _click_ on the glass, and put the phone on my bed. I pick up my favorite shirt; a blue and red ringer T-shirt, red in the front with blue rings and blue with red rings in the back. Karkat has commented on the shirt on various occasions whenever I wear it around him, but nothing will stop me from loving the fuck out of this shirt.

            “Hey KK, guess what?” I sing as I pull the shirt over my head.

            There is heavy, forced sigh on the other end. “What, for the ever loving fuck, is it now?”

            “I’m wearing the shirt.”

            _CLICK!_

            “Love you too.”

 

            “Jesus fuck, finally!” Karkat glares at me with his red eyes, his white hair hidden under a beanie, as I stroll into the cafeteria though the outside entrance. He is sitting at the 16-person table right as I walk in, Gamzee sitting across from him and sideways on the bench wearing his usual purple t-shirt and baggy black cargo pants. Terezi is sitting in front of him, having a blind staring contest with him, her red glasses in her hand. She is always wearing strange colored clothing, claiming she can sense colors and her surroundings. Today she is wearing a teal one shouldered dress that has abstract shapes and lines in every color, and reminds me of the seats in the coach buses that the school used for long trips.

            “Seriously, it’s only 7:30 and you were freaking out.”

            “And if you haven’t noticed, the warning bell is going off.”

            “And…?”  
            “Fuck me in the eye, how stupid are you? That means that first period starts in 10 minutes, duh!”

            “Again, and…?”

            “Sweet fuck, I’m done.” Karkat throws his hands in the air, and proceeds to face plant into the table. Hard. Gamzee and Terezi jump, cutting off their contest to look at the albino lying on the table. Well, Terezi just looked in the general direction as she slides her glasses back on.

            “Ow… Karkles that sounded like it hurt.”

            He was silent for a minute. “… Yeah, it did. I think I just gave myself a concussion…”

            “Why did you all up and throw yourself at the table, bro? I don’t see what fucking point you were trying to make.”

            “Gamzee, was that even proper English?” He rolled his head on the table to look at Gamzee properly. Their relationship was a strange one, drifting in the void somewhere between best friends and dating. Gamzee is the only person that doesn’t get ignored or hollered at by Karkat and can have a semi-normal conversation with him. They are polar opposites in appearance and personality, and for some reason it works perfectly. He manages to get Karkat to crack a smile every now and then, and is allowed within the bubble that Karkat has built around himself. When his eyes reach Gamzee, he manages to lift himself off the table and rest his head on his palm.

            “Does it even matter, Karbro?” Gamzee mimics his best friend and rests his head in his palm to look directly into Karkat eyes.

            “It should. It concerns me that it doesn’t concern you.” Very briefly, one corner of Karkats mouth tugs upwards, until Terezi speaks.

            “Well dipshits, you managed to waste five minutes, and now the five minute bell is going off!” Terezi screeches at us. “I’m going to class before I’m late. I was supposed to leave 10 minutes ago, but I hang around you guys and I’m forced to fall my way to the math wing. Gam, care to escort me?” She smiles, turning her head to Gamzee’s direction.

            “Sure thing, sis. Can’t have you all trippin’ and fallin’ up in this bitch, that just wouldn’t be cool.” He raises his lanky body, hooking his dark arm in hers. The two are in the same math class, and Terezi is the only thing that is keeping Gamzee’s grade above a 65.

            “Dude, get your face off the table before we’re late for Noir’s class.”

            “OH SWEET FUCK, WE HAVENT EVEN GONE TO OUR LOCKERS!”

            I can only stare at him as he launches himself off the table and practically breaks a world record to reach the exit of the now empty cafeteria. “You do know our lockers are on the way to class?” I shout after him.

            He stops and spins on his heel. “I knew that.”

            “Who’s the dumb fuck now?”

            “Shut up.”


	2. Chapter 1

As soon as we sit down, the monotone electronic bell rings and Mr. Noir starts talking. “Alright you little gasbags, welcome back to your worst nightmare that is my class. Prepare to study more than you ever will in your useless lives, on material that you might possible never need to know outside these walls.” He smiles. “If anyone doesn’t have their necessary books everyday, I will give you a zero for that day. Yes, I give you a grade everyday just for showing up with your books, and yes it will be part of your final grade. Now, get you dirty asses up and stand by the wall, and I will give you your assigned seats.” A collective groan rippled through the room. “Shut your fucking mouths, this is my classroom.”

            There were exactly 25 kids in the class, and exactly 25 chairs in the room. Pointing at the chairs with each name, he listed off everyone’s name in a random order. As if by some miracle, Karkat and I both got the last seats in the first and second row, him in the seat to my right. The only way I was going to survive this class was to sit next to Karkat, and I thank whatever god is out there that I am. This miracle would have been big enough to send Gamzee into euphoria.

            Eridan Ampora, a friend of ours, sat in the seat to my left. We met in fifth grade gym class, and ever since then we have been friends. I would never admit it out loud, be he is one of my best friends.

            I also love him. Unironically.

            Of course, he doesn’t know. Nobody does, not even Karkat. I was sexually confused for two years of my life, and now finally I am accepting my rainbow feelings.

            “Amporaaaaaaaaa…” I whisper loudly, leaning on the heel of my hand. “Guess whaaaaaaat?”

            He turns towards me and grins, whispering loudly back. “Whaaaaaaaat?”

            “Weeee… areeeee siiiiiiiting… next to eachotherrrrrrr.”

            “Reallyyy? I hadn’t noooooticed.” He suppresses his laughter. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

            “I don’t think you would want to read that essay.”

            “Can’t you summarize?”

            “If I had too… I would just say ‘a lot of fucking shit’ and put a big fat period at the end.”

            “You two. In the back. SHUT UP.”

            “Sorry.” We say together, sounding more like a harmony than an apology.

            “So I see you’re wear _the_ shirt.” He starts whispering again.

            “Don’t encourage it, Eridan.” Kakrat whispers, entering the conversation.

            “Why not, Kar? The shirt ain’t that bad. Honestly, it’s pretty cool.”

            “Thank you.” I laugh. “See KK, _someone_ likes my shirt.”

            “Why am I friends with you guys?”

            “Because we were the only people willing to be friends with the demon?”

            “Fuck you.”

 

            Karkat and I had Social Studies and Math together first and second, and I reunited with Eridan in Gym-slash-Science Lab and Science class third and fourth period. Fifth is Web Page Design when I have nobody, and sixth is when everybody in our little group has lunch. More than half of us had lunch then, so everyone else went to their guidance consoler to complain about a class or switched their schedule around to be in more classes with everyone, including sixth period lunch. Because we are such a large group, we take up an entire rectangular table.

            “I can’t see anyone at the other end of the table!” Terezi complains.

            “You can’t see at all!” Karkat screams from the other end of the table.

            “That would explain it, heheh!”

            When everyone got here, everyone just took any seat. Terezi sits at the end next to Gamzee, who has Tavros on his left. Following down their side is Nepeta, Equius, Aradia, Feferi, Eridan, Karkat and myself. John and Dave sit across from Eridan and I, and Vriska sits on Daves left. Next to her is Kanaya, followed by Rose, Dirk, Jake, Jade, Jane and Roxy. No one admits it, be we all have our favorites in the group. Roxy and Jane are obviously best friends, never drifting to far from each other, as were Dirk and Jake. Jake and Jade are cousins, so she sits next to him on his other side. Jade and Tavros are very close, having been friends since she was young, so they sit across from one another. When Dirk isn’t talking to Jake, he’s talking robotics with Equius, which is why he sits across from him. Karkat, Eridan and myself are the Three Fuck-it-teers, Vriska likes John, Nepeta and Equius are inseparable, Aradia and Equius are dating, and Kanaya and Rose are kind of a thing, but are not together.

            “Can everyone agree to keep their seat? Everyone like where they are sitting? Speak now of forever hold you peace.” Karkat announces from our end. No one objects, so he takes that as a yes and goes back to his lunch. “So, what do you guys have after this?”

            At the same time, Eridan and I say, “Art.” We turn to each other. “No fucking way.”

            “Stop fucking saying the same shit at the same time. I can handle the shirt, but if you two start becoming twins I my have to transfer schools to that all boy private school and be man handled by another man.”

            I bit my lip, but quickly laughed. “Yeah, I bet you’d like that. Or do still have that cr-” He glared at me, cutting my sentence off.

            “Fuck, it’s hot.” Karkat suddenly erupts, unzipping his hoodie to peel it of. He’s wearing a simple black t-shirt, contrasting with his skin and hair. His black beanie stays on his head, but you can tell he’s taken it off a few times throughout the day. You can tell a lot of planning went into the outfit, because his Supras match his belt, shirt and beanie, while his maroon jeans pull the outfit together into the perfect blend of ‘fuck off’ and ‘bitch I’m albino and sexy’. I will not deny that I like Karkat, but I like him more as a friend than a boyfriend, and he is undeniably straight for Terezi. “Anyway, I have Chorus next.”

            Everyone sitting near him started laughing.

            “No way, Karkat! You sing?” John held his laughter. “Want to sing while I play the piano?” He leaned against Vriska, both of them red with laughter. Dave quietly giggled to himself, but if you ever asked him he would deny he ever cracked a smile.

            “I’m only doing it because they go to Disney this year! They only go once every four years, and then I’m never taking the class again! You only need one art or music credit to graduate.” He defended himself.

            “Disney or not, it’s still Chorus.” I smirk.

            “And while I chill in Miami for a week, we will see who’s laughing then.”

            “Yeah, us.”

            “Fuck all of you.”

            The rest of the 42-minute period goes by quickly between everyone eating lunch and comparing schedules, but in the end it’s just Eridan and I heading to the Art wing. We walk with John, Aradia and Nepeta who are heading to the Math wing to their classes. Nepeta unfortunately has no one in her math class. We chat while we walk, and say our goodbyes as we divide at the end of the hallway, and Eridan and I walk to the dead-end where the best class of the year waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate school, and how it keeps me from writing. Here is a long awaited chapter!


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cat is out of the bag, Eridan is straight as an arrow.

The bell rings, and Eridan and I take the seats in the farthest corner of the room. Eridan and I share the one corner of the square arrangement and put out books next to us so no one else will sit near us. A very short woman is fiddling with the lights on the table in the center of the room, which usually holds whatever we are drawing. Once she is happy with how it looks against the still life, she speaks with a very soft voice.

            “Hello class, my name is Ms. Paint! And no, it is not a joke, that is my real last name.” She laughs at her own words. “Today, I just want you to grab a sheet of computer paper and a pencil, and draw whatever you want. I will be collecting this, but it won’t be graded, I just want to see what everyone’s skill level is.” Her smile is warm, and almost everyone in the room has a mutual understanding: Don’t fuck around with this teacher because she’s actually nice. “Everything you could ever need to color is on the table in the center. Pencils, paper, erasers, colored pencils, markers with fruity smell and boring regular markers, all that stuff. If anyone is interested in crayons, I can go into the other room and try to find them.”

            “Is it just me, or is this teacher too nice to exist?” Eridan asks once life in the classroom returns.

            “I think everyone is going through the same mindfuck, don’t worry.” I deadpan, turning to meet his eyes. “Fruity markers?” I change the subject as I push my chair out.

            A smirk slid onto his face. “Hell yeah, grape.”

            “Fuck that, lemon all the way.” I call over my shoulder.

            “Only losers like lemons, loser.”

            “Oh wow, that insult! I think… I… will never… recover.” I melodramatically collapse onto an empty table and die.

            “Hearty-har-har. I’ll just get ‘em myself, dill.”

            “That isn’t even a word! What am I, a pickle?” I lift my head up just in time to move my bits out of the way of an oncoming ringed fist. “Fuck you!”

            “Excuse me, language! I don’t appreciate cussing in my classroom please.” Ms. Paint called from the passageway to the other room, crayon bins in hand. “Sollux dear, could you please get off the table?”

            “Yes ma’am.” I reply curtly and jump off the table, but not without punching Ampora in the arm swiftly. “Thanks, douche!”

            “Ain’t my problem. You had to curse, didn’t you?”

            “It’s hard not to, it just flows from my magical windpipes like the song of a thousand fucking angles. It makes the bitches of heaven weep. Virgins orgasm as the sound hits them in waves of pleasure.”

            After a fit of laughter that never happened, Eridan finally responded. “You sound too much like Kar, and it doesn’t sound right with your nasally voice.”

            “What was that Mr. ‘Can’t pronounce W’s without sounding like a can opener’?”

            “Hey, I only do it when I’m angry now-w!”

            “W-What w-was that? I couldn’t understand you.”

            “I’m goin’ to fuckin’ kill ya.”

            “And now he’s Scottish! Claps all around, caraidean.”

            “Shut up.” He laughs as he lands a weak punch into my arm. “Can’t we ever have a normal conversation with each other for once? We always hitting, cursing and making fun of each other.”

            “You want a normal conversation? Sure.” I clear my throat. “So, how long is your dick?”

            He coughs and pushes me. “That’s NOT w-what I ment! My god! I mean like a nice conversation! Like this.” He clears his throat, mocking me. “How have you been? What did you do all summer that kept you so pale?”

            “Oh, I’ve been fantastic. I was so busy fucking you mom, I never saw the sun all summer.” That earned me an attempted blow to the gut. “No, but seriously, I was playing games for the most part. Like WoW, Minecraft, CoD, and coded some mods and shit.” I shrug. “What did you do all summer with your pathetic life?”

            “I hung out with Feferi a lot, we were on the same swim team... Mostly, I was at the beach, getting my sweet tan on as you can see.” He does a practiced macho man flex.

            “Feferi? That chick with the big hair, shrill voice, and uses fish puns in normal conversation?”

            “Yeah, but you make her sound like she’s a bad omen or something. She’s really nice, I think you would like her. Also, her voice ain’t shrill.”

            “Defencive…” I sang. “What, is she your-”

            “Eridan!” A cheerful, girly voice calls from the door. As soon as he hears it, his eyes light up and a gleeful grin dances across his face. Confused, I turn towards the voice.

            “Speak of the devil.” He lifts an eyebrow at me. “Fef! I didn’t know you were in this class! You don’t even like art.” He gets up to greet her while I sit awkwardly at the table. This girl is a good foot and a half shorter than Eridan, and has a great figure. To put it simply, big boobs, big ass and a tiny waist. Her naturally tan skin is glowing with the tan she got this summer, while her dark curls frame her round face and trace the curves of her body as it trails down her back. The only thing that caught me off guard was what was hanging off her big lips: Eridan. In that moment, my stomach dropped.

            Once the lip lock ended, she spoke again. “Just switched in today! Apparently Oceanography was full this period, so I had to switch my entire glubbing schedule around! Everything is all scrambled around and I got stuffed into this tiny class. Give me your class list because I have to compare them again.” She gives a bubbly laugh that made my stomach drop even further.

            “Just give me yours, I want to introduce you to someone.” He took the schedule out of her hand and turned to me. “Fef, this is my best friend Sollux. Sol, this is my girlfriend Feferi.”


End file.
